Faithfulness

Childhood cancer is a path that we never asked to walk on.  We would gladly change in our hospital days for one boring day at home with nothing to do.  It is gut-wrenching to walk this path, but we have grown and learned so much about ourselves and our God through this journey.  God has proven that He is so immensely faithful as he has poured out his mercy to us each day of this journey.  He has whispered in my ear over and over "I am here" and we have both felt his peace on days that chaos was all around us. 

God's faithfulness is so evident when you look for it.  Despite this being a path that has been uphill and rocky and filled with sweat and tears, we have made some amazing memories within the fabric of our family life.  I have dumped these pictures off of my phone from the last week or so because they remind me that God is still working in our family and we are so thankful for His faithfulness as he has taught us so much over the last six months.

My sweet Kyle has learned that life is not all about him and my heart is so full when I see him nurse his baby brother.  I could bawl when I think of the jobs that Kyle has done for David over the last few months.  I pray that God uses this experience to teach Kyle to be less focused on himself and more focused on God and others around him.  

I am so thankful for our new friendships with some pretty amazing families at the hospital.  Haley is doing awesome and is cute as ever. 

During those first few days back in November we cried out in sorrow and anguish in our hospital room.  I cannot peek into the room we were brought into that first night back in November. It makes me want to throw up to remember that sad room.  This past hospitalization we were literally five feet from that initial room and I smiled a big smile watching Hope and Haley color and cut away on a "normal" hospital day six months later.   I am so thankful that God is allowing us to make some happy memories in a place that caused us such grief and anguish six short months ago.  Beauty from ashes is literally everywhere around that place for us now.

Sunday we treated ourselves to a lunch out before Mike and Kyle headed back.  My kids loved that fondue fountain!!  We ate ourselves silly and had a nice family meal together outside of the hospital cafeteria. 

Sunday after Mike and Kyle left I stayed in Charlottesville with the two little ones.  I was a little worried about being there alone in case David needed emergency care again, but God blessed us with some sweet sweet times together in Bonnie's house.  Penn Park playground was a hot spot for us and we were there as much as the weather allowed us to be.

One night Hope just "had" to have an orange push-up pop like Haley and I love this sweet face!  Mike had thankfully bought a box of these before he headed home.

This picture makes me smile so much because God has big plans for my little girl.  She is bossy with a very strong mothering instinct already.  She  is going to be a great mother/teacher/nurse!  Here she is helping me "fwush" David's line prepping it for the antibiotic.  God is preparing her already to have a big brother with special needs.  The fact that God has designed my children to be a great sibling to David with his Down Syndrome overwhelms me and gives me such peace. 

The weather was not cooperative for the playground one day, so we went down the street to the mall and walked around with a bottle of hand sanitizer!  Ha!  David was obsessed with the manequins in Belk and said he was on a "date" with her. 

We walked by Stride Rite and they had a big display of Crocs and he just happen to find these Toy Story ones and had to have them.  They will be great hospital shoes for the warmer months and for a few hours the other day we forgot about cancer and shopped for some necessities.  God also worked it out for me to run into a dear friend and we were able to catch up and chat while the kids ate their lunch.  That day I was feeling homesick and God blessed my soul with an unexpected meeting with an old friend.  He is so faithful to our needs:)

It was such good medicine to see my boy play on the carousel and grin this big happy grin! 

Here are the two antibiotics that we are giving at home.  The one of the left is Cefepime and the one on the right is Vancomycin.  If you look closely inside you see small balloons full of medicine.  When I get him hooked up I unclamp those white clamps and the medicine deflates into his port.  I have been so nervous about his port and blessedly it has cooperated beautifully this week. 

God's faithfulness is so evident when you look for it.  Cancer has taught us to cling to Jesus and see the miracles he is unveiling in our lives each day.  We have never been promised that life will be easy.  The only promise we have is that He will never leave us or forsake us. 

the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6