There are times in life, when your heart is full, broken, sad, and blessed all within the span of a few hours. This weekend my heart has felt so many powerful emotions questioning why a few times, and rejoicing other times.
Obviously we all are aware that her heart is quickly weakening, but it was sweet and precious family time together this weekend. There were a dozen or so of us all weekend laughing and reminiscing with her. It breaks my heart to see how swollen she is from the fluid on her heart and lungs. It brings me to tears to see her laboring to cough up fluid. Congestive heart failure is not pretty, but she still is. My Memaw has the sweetest spirit but I heard some funny and unforgettable stories about her this weekend. She is a sweet mild-mannered christian woman, but she had a few suitors after her before she married my Pawpaw and she was a tough bird! She often laments that she is ready to see Jesus because she is tired and tired of being tired, but God blessed us with this family time together. I know we wore her out but sweet memories and funny stories ease the sting of words like "heart failure", "hospice" and "palliative care."
David chose to wear his shirt and tie to the nursing home so he could look "hot" for Memaw while he sang a sweet song to her.
I had a lump in my throat seeing them off on Friday. I am still shocked I have a child old enough for Resurrection and that he is a youth now! GASP! I was also emotional thinking of all the prayers I had personally prayed for this group that they would experience God on a personal level and come home changed by His presence. Jesus is the sweetest thing in my life and I am so thankful that Kyle has this opportunity to build his own relationship with Jesus.
Sometimes life is beautiful and brutiful all within the span of a few minutes. This weekend with family was beautiful and I know it did Memaw's heart good to be with us all together even if it was in a nursing home with a visit from her hospice nurse. I am so thankful that Mike and Kyle encountered Jesus at Resurrection with 3500 of their closest "friends" while I also lift Matt and Ashley in prayer as they keep walking in faith when life throws a big curveball. I do know from my walk with Jesus, that whether you are on the mountaintop praising God, or holding your sweet grandmothers hand while she labors to cough up something to ease her lungs, God is there. He is always there.