I am a self-proclaimed control freak. I like when things feel "orderly" and controlled. I am also a christian and believe fully that God's plan is always perfect. Sometimes my trusting in God's plan and need for control and order collide and that always stings a little. Today is one of those days.
Because I love Jesus I fully believe in his words from Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you, They are plans for good to give you a hope and a future. I believe those words fully even when things on this side of heaven do not always make sense.
So on days like today when I am thrown a huge curve ball that I never saw coming, instead of throwing myself on the floor and throwing a tantrum, my faith quietly whispers to me to trust. God has and will continue to work things for His good even if it hurts a little in the moment.
Parenting David has certainly shown me that we can be thrown some pretty vicious and fast curve balls called Down Syndrome and Cancer and still thrive. He has proven that His plan is always perfect and that He is trustworthy. So on days like today I just have to remember that it is not my will, but Yours dear Jesus.