It has been a long, sad, and emotional 24 hours. Friday night my Mom called me and said that my dear Pawpaw had taken a turn for the worst in the hospital and that he was moving to the ICU. I left Mike with all three kiddos and took off for the hospital. My brother and I got there about the same time.
We were blessed because we got to go back right away and see him for a few minutes. We got to spend over 30 minutes with him and he was so emotional, honest, and it was an amazing time together. He made us promise him certain things-some serious and some funny!
It was gut-wrenching to hear his labored breaths, but since he had our attention he was not going to quit talking. The doctor repeatedly told us to not let him talk, but he refused to obey. He had a list in his head to discuss with us and he was going to get it out! It was precious, precious time that I will never forget:)
He kept telling us that he was not ready to go yet, but that he was not scared at all. He adamantly said that he was not scared to go home, but that he wanted to stick around and watch our kiddos grow up. We reminded him about all the people ready to reunite with him in heaven and he smiled.
Today back at the hospital after about three hours of sleep, we faced a brutal day full of invasive procedures and lots of poking and prodding. As of now he is on a ventilator but that will be coming out tomorrow due to his DNR that he signed yesterday. Tomorrow is going to be interesting to see how he does being weaned off of the ventilator. Tonight he refused a procedure that his doctor wanted to do, so we feel that he is ready to go home with our Lord. After the brutal day he went through I do not blame him one bit. Streets of gold, a new set of lungs, and choruses of angels praising the Lord sound pretty darn good to me right now.
So tomorrow is the big day and we just pray that the Lord's will be done and that he does not suffer. Today I grabbed the nurses arm and begged her to turn up his sedation because he was so aggitated and scared.
We are resting on the promises of God's eternal plan for us tonight and we know that he has Pawpaw in his hands. We know he is wiping our tears of sorrow away and that He is always with us even during our grief.
I cannot even express how amazing his doctor is and all the love that we have received from hospital staff, old friends, and family. He has lived an amazing life and tonight we are trusting that God's Will willbe done and that he will suffer no more. Thanks for all the prayers and please keep them coming for tomorrow (sunday).