Reality

Tonight I had planned to post some cute pictures of the kids swimming and Hope's field trip today.  Tonight;  however, I do not have the heart to post cute pictures as we are concerned about David's academic progress and some challenges that he is facing.   

Today, we learned of David's latest academic testing results.  Lets just say that David's slow processing skills, distractability, and stubborness are becoming more evident as he gets older.  The information at school is getting harder and faster-paced which is challenging for him. 

  Tonight I was sad and felt defeated that he was struggling with a few things in life.  So, I went to church tonight by myself to work on lesson plans for preschool for the upcoming weeks.  When I was alone I cried out to God wondering why everything in David's life is hard for him.  School work is hard, battling cancer is hard, speech is difficult for him, he is not coordinated or athletic, he is now lacking a kidney, he has to wear bifocals, and recently his ear tubes just came out that helped him hear better.  In the world's eyes David has a rough go of it and tonight everything that is stacked against our baby got to this Momma.   I cried tears of defeat, frustration, and agony over things that this Momma can't fix.

I came home and snuggled in bed with Hope and David and "watched" a movie on Netflix with them.  While they watched The Little Engine That Could I prayed and prayed and prayed.  Once again I felt God's peace about David because God helped me remember that what the world sees as "lacking" in David He can use for His glory. 

So what if he cannot add double digit numbers yet without a calculator.....He reminded many of us how much God loves us all.

So what if he cannot remember what he just read.......he endured months of agony without one ounce of self pity and showed us all what being a true warrior really means.


So what if he is not organized and often gets distracted....he remembers to bless our food every night even when I forget.  If you are sick he will be the first to pray over you even if it is just a case of the sniffles.  He may not have the most book learning around, but he is a smart guy who knows who The Great Physician is. 

We are also thankful that God has always blessed David with amazing professionals that have given David what he has needed at the time.  Right now he is blessed with a wonderful team of teachers at his sweet school that are great for him.  Last year he had two amazing ladies that drove three hours to visit him in the hospital.  We are blessed with Ashley in his life, , his doctors, his speech therapist Nicole, his occupational therapist, physical therapists. etc....God has blessed David with some top-notch people in his life to help him meet his potential.

Tonight I am thankful and overwhelmed that God has given us this amazing kid who may never blow the top off of a standardized test, but who has already  mastered the concept that God loves him and us very much. 

Dance Marathon Video!!

http://vimeo.com/59876770


Here is the link to the video that was shown this past Saturday at the dance marathon featuring David, his fellow cancer fighter friends, and the clinic staff and doctors.  I hope you enjoy it as much as we have!

This video overwhelms me because it hightlights our clinic friends and the amazing staff and doctors there that have come to feel like extended family to us.  Thank you Liza Dunsmore (Dr. Dunsmore's daughter) for putting together a video that we will always treasure:)

Robinson Girls Getting Sporty

The Robinson girls are getting a little sporty around here!  Hope is a month into her tumbly tykes gymnastics class and she loves it.  It has helped her so much with her confidence and to overcome her shyness.  She allowed me to take my camera the other night to capture some pictures of her in action:)

Warming up....I love this picture because she looks so happy.  I am so proud of the confidence and maturity that she is showing us these days. 

Flipping over the low bar herself:)  I think it is adorable that her hello kitty panties are hanging out of her leotard.  I know in a few years she will be horrified but for now it is cute:)

Flipping backwards:)

Jumping on the jumpolene!  She hates wearing her hair in ponytails for now so we just put it back in a clippie for class. 

Look at that pure joy on her face!! I love it so much!! She is super excited that her preschool class is going on a field trip this week to the gymnastics center because that is an extra day that she gets to go to gymnastics.  It is truly the highlight of her week. 

My new sporty endeavor is a little lofty, but I am willing to give it my all because Kyle is going to do it with me!!!  At church a fellow Mom has started a Run for God program where each week you have a bible study and then two separate nights of running to get in shape for a 5K.  Sitting in a hospital the last year or so has not helped my cardiovascular health, so I am excited to study God's word and run for God.  It is a 12 week program and I hope to be able to run a 5K at the end.

I am super excited because Kyle is going to do it with me:)  Several moms are doing it with their older kiddos and Kyle is in such good shape that he could probably run a 5k without much training but I am excited that he will be with me to encourage me.  Any local friends that want to get involved email me and I will get you hooked up.  The bible study does not start until March 10th so you still have a little bit of time before it begins.  There are about 30-40 others runners for God signed up and it is really no pressure.  If you can't run and only can walk that is fine!  It is truly about strengthening our relationship with God and our bodies. 

Typically the boys are the athletes in our family, but for now Hope and I are getting our sport on too. 

Weekend in Charlottesville

We are finally home after our amazing little getaway to Charlottesville.  Hope and I brought home a nasty cold but with a little rest we should both be okay.  It was such a joy to have two days together as a family. 

I know it will not always be feasible to take both kids with us, but it was such a joy to have them.  David clung to his Kyle and he insisted to sit on his lap while they took his vitals. 

Mommy and David while he is a little loopy on Versed.:) 

Hope opening her gift that she received in clinic.  What a treasure that place is. 

We ate at one of our favorite Charlottesville places for our celebration dinner and this is what my plate looked like.  Yummo! 

We offered the kids several options for fun Friday night after we heard the good news and they chose the hotel swimming pool:) 

Saturday morning we did a little shopping and then headed to the dance marathon.  We had such an amazing time there and here are all three kids on the huge obstacle course. 

David was THRILLED that his doctor, Dr. Belyea was at the dance marathon.  Despite the fact that he had two twin boys to chase, he was so kind to hang with David.  David adores him so much and he was excited to show him his Spiderman Stand Up to Cancer shirt that Kilby sent him several months ago:)

This kid had a ball shooting hoops and running through the obstacle course with several members of the UVA wrestling team. 

Once an hour the dance marathoners would come on the floor and dance this really cool morale dance. 

Dr. Belyea even raced through the obstacle course with David.  It was wonderful to socialize with the staff and other families that we have met through clinic.

This little girl spent the whole time bouncing in the bouncy houses and sliding down the slide.  She was not the least bit shy and when we saw Ms. Cathy, David's original teacher at UVA, she talked her leg off!  Good to see you Ms. Cathy!!

David and Kyle both enjoyed their time with the UVA wrestling team and David had such fun playing NCIS with them and putting them all in jail.  David was in rare form and despite how hard it was to keep up with him, it was AWESOME to see his energy and spunk!  What a difference a year makes and we are so thankful for his health. 

One of the exciting things that happened while we were at the dance marathon was that we were asked to be a Children's Miracle Network Miracle Family for UVA hospital.  We do not know what it entails yet, but after the amazing care we have received we would love to give back by being ambassadors for the hospital.  They needed to get a short video of our family so since I had already spoken at the marathon, Mike and David chose to be videoed for the miracle family program. 

David and kyle playing hoops with the wrestlers.  This was such a fun event and all three kids had a ball.  We left hot and tired after all the fun, yet we felt so blessed to be apart of such an awesome event that brings funding to the place that has treated our David.  We are now home thankful for the good news we received and precious family time, with new family memories tucked in our hearts.  Thanks Charlottesville for a wonderful weekend.

Scan Update

Blessedly we have awesome news to report tonight!  After a long day at UVA, we got the call around 4 that David's scan was clean today!  Praise be the Lord!  We were relieved and felt so thankful for another three months of "normal" life. 

We took the whole family today and it really made the day not seem too stressful and long.  Hope and Kyle, along with their Ipads, were troopers while David was sedated.  It was just a treat that we were all five together and then when the good news came in we could celebrate as a family.  The kids chose to eat out together and then come back to the hotel to swim as our victory party.

The day started out extremely early-we were all showered and dressed and at the hospital by 7.  David took his Versed which is difficult to get down him, but it is a wonderful amnesia drug that erases all of his memories.  It was a stress-free day for him because the amazing folks here did labs while he was sedated, removed his ear tubes (amazing right?!) and the scan was done.  He was sedated longer than usual but we were allowed to return to the room before he was fully awake.  Have I mentioned lately that this place is amazing???

After the scan was done we had our monthly clinic visit.  His labs were back by the time we got there so that was a quick visit.  Ms. Meghan showed us the video that will be shown tomorrow and it is amazing and made this Momma tear up.  We are all excited to have fun at the Dance Marathon tomorrow.  The video will be unveiled tomorrow  and we have been asked to say a few words at the dance marathon.  Usually I do not like to speak in public, but we feel so thankful to this place that I must publically share how thankful we are for UVA.  Kyle is excited to meet some UVA athletes, Hope is excited for the bouncey houses, and we are excited to fellowship with our doctors and other families. 

Today in clinic was a fun day.  All three of my children received a goody bag of goodies and these cute smiley faced cookies.  A family that lost their child to cancer come every year on this day to bring treats and gifts to all the clinic children as a way to honor their child who fought the beast called childhood cancer. 

Today has been a long yet awesomeday.  We are so thankful for your prayers, love, and encouragement.  My cell phone buzzed all day with texts of love and encouragement.  Your love encouraged us through a long, anxious day and I am so thankful that God has blessed with us so many friends that love our David like your own.  From the bottom of our hearts we are so thankful to almighty God who god us through this day, your love and encouragement, and most importantly your prayers. 

Brutal

This week has been absolutely brutal for me.  I know what the scriptures say about fear and worry and I know that I should turn all my fears over to God.  My head understands to do that but my heart is struggling.  Because of stress my fuse is short and my kids have chosen this week to push every button I have.  It is also breaking my heart that my parents are enduring stress because of a situation they cannot do anything about. 

Scan weeks are difficult for our family.  Amy from the sedation team at UVA called today and we talked details about Friday.  They are so wonderful at UVA.  While he is sedated David's ear tubes will be pulled out, his labs will be drawn, and he will receive his pre-scan fluids to flush that nasty contrast dye away from his kidney. 

Last night I was listening to a sermon by Max Lucado where a family had a tragedy occur in their lives.  They made a list of the good and bad that came from the tragedy in which the mom was paralyzed.  I thought that was such a wonderful way to take the focus away from the difficult parts of a tragedy and choose to remember how God uses the most difficult times in our lives to bring blessing and glory to the situation.  So...Here is my first shot at the list that comes to mind from cancer:

CONS

David lost a kidney
He endured months of terrible chemo and radiation
We had to be separated as a family for many long weeks
We will always live in fear that we will lose him
We will always live in fear that he will go into kidney failure
We worry that down the road we might see late effects from the chemo
David lost nine months of his life with school, friends, and fun. 

PROS

Mike and I felt God's presence so strongly that our family is forever changed.
We were blessed by the love of family, friends, and strangers
We made many sweet memories in Charlottesville
We met some amazing families on the floor
We met professionals that feel like extended family that take amazing care of our David.
We had lots of time to read the bible and listen to sermons
We now have a greater appreciation for love and life. 
We witnessed how strong our Rock Star really is
Hope was forced to come out of her shell by attending preschool at UVA.
Kyle learned some life lessons while attending school at UVA
Because we were so blessed by the generosity of others we feel led to give back more.

As you can see the pros list is longer than the cons.  Cancer has robbed our family of lots of peace but God has used it to teach and touch us.

Today has been hard.  Tonight Mike came home for a few minutes and I just curled up on his lap and put my head on his chest.  I am trying not to feel overwhelmed and scared but we now live our lives in three month chunks and scans always produce anxiety. 

My sweet 11 year old just ended our night on a wonderful note.  I just snuggled in our big bed and watched the second half of the awesome movie Courageous with our three kids.  (If you have not seen it you must) but the speech at the end of that movie must be seen by every single parent.  I am thankful that God has allowed us to be parents and that instead of being terrified about the future we just need to enjoy the present and be thankful for all the time that we have had together.  That movie blessed us all tonight as we wait patiently for Friday to come and get here. 

We covet your prayers for the rest of this week.  Please specifically pray for a low Creatinine level and of course a squeaky clean scan. 
 

All Hoops All Weekend

Blessedly our weekend was full of basketball for both boys.  I am so thankful because weekends before David's scans are long and hard.  This weekend was a basketball whirlwind but we were together as a family having fun. 

Kyle's AAU team, the Hornets, did not play their best this weekend, but we had fun cheering them on.  Kyle loves basketball and he has made some awesome friends on our sweet team. 

We played an 8 a.m. game Saturday morning, so after the game several families enjoyed a breakfast buffet to celebrate the win. We love when it works out that we can fellowship with our team family between games.  This group of boys is such a joy to be around. 

My tip-off man!  I think Kyle is a huge kid until we go to these AAU tournaments and often I want to check some birth certificates when we play again other fifth grade teams. 

Kyle has hit several three pointers this season and he loves it.  I am so thankful that he has a passion for something that makes him exercise and that we all enjoy doing as a family.  Everytime I think to complain about the early mornings for a tournament I remember that he could be at home playing xbox or being lazy.  Sports are a great way to learn lots of life lessons like teamwork, discipline, committment, and friendship. 

Daddy coaching and he loves it as much as the kids do.  After the Hornets lost today we made it home for David's Upward Basketball game! 

This kid cracks us all up with his Lebron James obsession.  He will not play without wearing his Lebron James headband! 

David has several sweet friends on his team and here he is with Garrett his friend from church and school.  I know David's hair is unruly but I am struggling to cut it.  This was the original  hair that came back post-chemo and I am having a hard time cutting it.  I know it sounds silly, but he was bald for so long that it is kind of cool to see his wild hair. 

David getting in on the action.  Because of the time we spend in the gym and watching hoops at home he understands the concept of basketball well.  His slower reflexes make it a little hard for him to keep up with a fast-paced game, but he loves it and we love cheering for him. 

During David's games it is fun that Kyle can actually watch Hope so I can enjoy David's game.  Here he is teaching her how to dribble.  She is really not interested in hoops for now, despite  her Daddy and brother's best attempts at getting her to play.  She really just wants to put her leotard on and go to gymnastics.

I know this sounds weird and sounds as if I do not have faith, but this scan this week is bothering me.  The one in November was super high stakes because that was the longest he had gone without treatment prior to a scan.  With the holidays this three month cycle has rolled around quickly yet I am nervous.  Very nervous. 

I know what to do and I need to go do it.  When stress, fear, and panic try to overtake me I literally soak up God's word. I am listening to a new sermon series from Oak Hills Church right now on prayer and it is fantastic.  The same God that got us through 2012 is walking with me now.  He knows my fear, and once again he reminds me in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Valentines Day Take 2

Between motherhood and preschool every holiday gets REALLY celebrated around here. After three parties in two days (two at preschool and one with Dave at school) I do not care to see another cupcake anytime soon. I am sure my two youngest will be in bed early tonight. I will be right there with them:)

Here is Hope's sweet little bag she decorated to put her Valentines in.  She had another great preschool party today and amazingly she threw away most of her party food after a few bites. 

Here is our little three year old class of cuties with all three of us teachers.  I love my job and I love the kids and ladies I work with.  Such a blessing!

After partying at preschool we headed to David's school to party with some cool second graders.  Here is Hope, David and David's bff Kelsey. 

These pictures are out of order, but here are Hope and Brooklyn getting ready to make their birdseed bird feeders.  That was one of the stations are the party today. 

David and Mr. Nutter. 

The Robinson Valentine picture of 2013!! Our babies are growing up so fast!!  Look how full David's face looks and look at all of his HAIR!!! 

I love Valentine's Day. I know it is a made up holiday to get us to buy stuff, but I love the idea of taking a day and celebrating the loves in our lives.  I am blessed to have three Valentines from God that call me mom and I am also thankful that God blessed me with Mike.

Mike and I have been married for 13 years.  Our marriage is NOT perfect and last week we were grumpy with each other.  We fall into the trap where our marriage comes behind our kids, our jobs, our house, everything.  I know we need to make more time to nurture our marriage, but this is a man that has held me through the tough times of the last decade.

Our marriage has weathered moves, lots of new jobs, a stressful current job for him, three children, extended family drama, a child with a disability we were not expecting, and cancer.  I remember riding in that ambulance to UVA with David and the awesome folks from Smyth County Ambulance Service.  Mike met us at UVA, and I remember when we were rushing through the ER to get him to the floor to be admitted, I asked them to stop.  I remember opening the doors to the waiting room in the ER and yelling loudly for Mike.  I was desperate to see him and hug him.  He was the only one in the world at that moment that felt the depths of my sorrow and fear. 

Our marriage is not perfect at all, but on this Valentine's Day I am thankful for a Godly husband that believes in marriage for life (if we do not kill each others first-ha!)  Just kidding, but I am thankful today that I can celebrate the loves in my life and one of those loves is Michael Robinson. 

Valentines Day Take 1

The great thing about teaching two different classes at preschool is that we get to spread out the celebrating a little.  Today we had a Valentine party for the four year olds.  Tomorrow we will get to party again with Hope's class of three year olds.

These two little girls were ready to party.  I am so blessed to work with such amazing co-workers, parents, and kids. 

This little lady was adamant about wearing her fancy party dress.  After their party the preschoolers were invited down to the fellowship hall to entertain the UMW ladies during their monthly meeting. At Christmas this little girl was too shy to sing, but today....SHE DID IT!!!!!  I even captured a little clip of her singing Awesome God. 



I love my job.  I love the ladies I teach with.  This job makes me laugh every single day.  Today I felt blessed to get to talk to a group of preschoolers about Jesus being our ultimate Valentine:) Today I am definitely feeling the love:)

Last Year

After a rough week last week this weekend has been perfect.  Lots of home family time, dinner out as a family, a quiet Friday night to myself (wow), church, and a sweet birthday party for a friend.  I am so thankful for times where I can be home and quiet.  The older I get the more I crave quiet time to listen to music, listen to a sermon podcast, or even enjoy Army  Wives on Netflix! 

 Valentine picture 2012

Today David had a friend over to play after his basketball game.  I was touched to see the boys in their uniforms playing xbox and having a blast.  This time last year, my baby was hospitalized for six days for a tough chemo regimen.  This year there is a bag of valentines for him to take to his friends at school and last year we had gift bags to hand out to his friends on the hall in the hospital because he was hospitalized for Vaentines Day last year.  

I was overcome that this time last year my baby was balding and hospitalized and this year he has a head full of hair and played hard in a basketball game. 

 

This picture is so pitiful to me because this is after he had chemo his counts were so low we had to homeschool him for two weeks or so until it was safe for him to return to school.  On one hand it makes me want to bawl when I look back over pictures of his chemo journey, but then the Momma in me is so proud of how much he went through and he kept singing praises to God and making us laugh when we wanted to cry.  I am so proud to be David's momma. 

 

Today a dear friend shared with me that she went back to November 2011 on this blog and started re-reading some of those earlier posts.  I too have done that and it is brutal.  I still cannot believe what this amazing rock star went through.  I am also not naiive to the fact that he has one kidney that is only working about 50% and that sometime down the road that fact may rear its ugly head. 

 

But for tonight I am enjoying the sense of renewal I have after a weekend of relaxation and home time.  I am enjoying the fact that David is about 12-14 pounds heavier now than he was this time last year.  I am relishing the Valentines we worked hard on for his school party because that means he is healthy enough to attend this year, and most importantly for God and His grace.  I am not worthy of it, but He continues to lavish it upon me when the days are tough and this Momma is weary. 

 

 

God's girl

This is the longest that I have gone without blogging in a long time.  It has been THAT kind of week.  Nothing major but just a few little annoyances that have added up to be a yucky week.  I have been enjoying the book Unglued by Lysa Teurkurst.  I guess God really felt that I needed work on this topic, because I have had several opportunities this week interacting with others where I felt the need to come unglued. 

We women are emotional and often hormonal creatures that lead with our hearts and fiercely love our babes. Sometimes as wives and mommies we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders as we try to juggle it all. This week I have not done a great job juggling and therefore came unglued a few times. 

I sadly have allowed myself to come unglued a lot lately which has not been a pretty thing.  Believe me.  This line from the book stopped me in my tracks when dealing with people that make me so angry that I have felt like coming unglued.

In this moment I am choosing to be self-controlled and alert.  You actions are begging me to yell and lose control.  But I realize that I have an enemy and that enemy is not you.  The devil is prowling and roaring and looking to devour me through my own lack of control right now, but I am GOD's girl.  That's right, I am.  I am going to humbly and quietly let God have his way in me. 

That phrase God's girl grabbed my attention.  Despite the fact that I often come unglued, judge others, throw around a little gossip from time to time, I am desperate to be God's girl.   Being known as God's girl will not only change me and how I interact with others, but will set an example for my Hope to one day be God's girl too. 

I pray that my children will remember the times we read together, prayed together, and served others together over the times that I came unglued when the apple juice was spilled (just happened this week), did not show grace to another when I needed to (happened yesterday) and not restraining my mouth.

If you are in need of a "how to" for controlling your raw emotions, I highly recommend Unglued.  It has helped me so much.  My husband might even think it would be a good idea for me to read it again:) 

Have a great weekend!

Snowy Sunday

This Sunday has been absolutely perfect.  The snow has halted all activities today and we have had a family day at home.  We were predicted to have 2-4 inches, but the snow has finally topped out around eight inches.   Schools are already cancelled for tomorrow due to the snow covered roads so my kiddos bundled up and....

went outside to sled!  Just a few weeks ago this little girl did not even like to walk in the snow, but today she hopped on the sled with Kyle and took off! 

Sweet brothers sharing the sled.

These two were planning a snow ball attack on Kyle:)

This picture makes me belly laugh because girlfriend was going fast!  She wanted Kyle to give her a "big push" and off she went down the hill!

Fearless Kyle

After Hope and David got cold and wanted to come in, Kyle stayed outside and built himself a sledding track with a huge bump.  This is a pretty picture of the golf course on this snowy Sunday.  Sometimes I feel that God uses all this beautiful snow to remind us to slow down and enjoy time together at home. 

Picture Dump

It has been a while since I have done a picture dump off of my phone.  I often take some cute, yet random pictures with my iphone because it is handy and mostly in my pocket. 

I love my job for lots of reasons, but two hour delays for the school system means that I am arriving at preschool with all three in tow because our preschool goes regular time when the school is delayed.  My boys love going to preschool and though it is hectic with extra kiddos around, it is precious time.  When Kyle attended preschool where I now teach, he LOVED building with the wooden blocks.  After circle time one day I was so touched to find this... Kyle had helped David and Brady build an enormous tower.  For just a second,  I could reminisce about Kyle at three building a big tower in that very room. 

For letter F we studied the farm and here are Grady and Hope helping their piggies they painted roll in the mud.  Hope is blessed with some precious preschool friends. 

January has been a bizarre weather month with tons and tons and tons of rain and a few snow showers mixed in.  The other day the kiddos were out of school due to flooding and we checked out the girls softball field at the little league fields.  We found it under water with ducks swimming on it.  Amazing....

Here is David with one of his new clinic buddies yesterday.  Clinic was hopping yesterday with lots of new and old friends.  I hate being there but we do love seeing the staff and other families there. 

I love this picture of David and Pops chowing down at Cici's Pizza in Charlottesville.  This was David's restaurant of choice and he enjoyed those cinnamon rolls while we waited for lab results. 

Today before the snow started Hope and I headed out to our friends' house to help their daughter celebrate her fourth birthday Doc McStuffins style.  It was such a cute party and we saw several of our preschool friends.  Hope may be shy, but she does love her friends and she loves a good party:)

Hope is one little obsessed gymnas these days.  She has had two weeks of tumble tykes class at gymnastics and she LOVES it.  She puts her leotard on hours before classtime and each day asks how many more days until she gets to go again.  We are thankful that it is helping her build her confidence and that for now she has found something that she loves. 

Except for the birthday party, we have been in this weekend.  Right now we are watching another snow storm hit our area.  It is beautiful outside right now and we are loving this lazy, laid-back weekend.