My heart got a wee bit trampled on today while driving home with my kiddos from school. We were chatting about the upcoming weekend and what was on our agenda. I reminded Kyle that he had baseball practice tonight and tomorrow and I wondered if he felt well enough to suit up and go.
A small voice from the back of the car piped up and said "me mom my cleats. Me play too. Good thrower." My sweet, brave cancer warrior heard baseball and did not want to be left out. My heart shattered. Between his disability and his kidney issues, baseball is really not an option for him. He is too old for Tball and his slower reflexes and hand-eye-coordination make the next level of pitching machine over his head. He could seriously get hurt out there.
My eyes welled up as I tried to explain to him that he is swimming now that basketball is over because baseball is not an option due to his kidney. Then he said "But Mom Jesus made kidney all better. I play." Oh my heart....
How do I get him to understand that he cannot play baseball like his school buddies? How can he ever understand this delicate kidney function balance that we will have to endure his entire life? How will he ever feel like he measures up when he is so limited in his options? Issues like this are hard on any Momma but especially a Momma who knows her child is "limited" on this Earth. He may not rock his numbers yet, be allowed to play ball, ride a horse, or jump on a trampoline because of our new "post-cancer treatment life" but our faith reminds us that God has and will continue to use this child for His glory despite his earthly limitations.
Today not only broke my heart but humbled me. I have been guilty of complaining about all the sports and activities my kids are in and how I feel like a human taxi cab shuffling my kids around to all their endeavors. Today I will stop. Today I will just be thankful that my kids are healthy enough to do the things they love.
So what is Kyle's travel ball practice is 25 minutes away-at least he is able to get out there and play a high level of ball. His brother would kill to be out there.
So what if most of my evenings and weekends are spent in a gym or at a field. I will let today remind me that it is a blessing to get to cheer your child on in what they love. Cancer has robbed David of several of his loves because he it took one of his kidneys forever limiting him.
So what if Kyle pitches a bad game or Hope flips on her head wrong at gymnastics-their brother would do anything to be out there despite the outcome.
Today I will stop complaing about early AAU tournament games, late baseball games that go into extra innings, or the lack of "down time" we have as a family because of sports. Today my wise, yet limited, son reminded me what is truly important. Thank you David for once again teaching this stubborn Mommy another important life lesson. God blessed us when He gave us you.
p.s. our local little league president has informed me that in a nearby town there is a little league for children with disabilities called challenger league that would be perfect for David. We are eager to look into it after we okay it with the kidney doctor. There are options for David like this that we are eager to explore!