In one of my cookbooks, I found this cute recipe for chocolate sugar cookie dirt 'n worms and thought I would try it as the cupcake for David's party. Great idea....BUT
I tried to take them out of the pan before they were cool enough and you can see that this one fell apart. I lost it. Totally lost it. Thankfully Mike and the boys were out and Hope was watching a princess movie and did not witness me losing it over sugar and flour.
Finally I realized that they just weren't cool enough and the next few batches turned out beautifully. I then thought about why I came unglued over cookies. I am not out to win mother of the year or even win the MArtha Stewart award anytime soon, but by golly I just wanted those cookies to turn out PERFECT.
Ulitmately they did turn out kind of cute and even kind of like the picture in the cookbook. I guess as a mother there are so many times that I do not come close to the mark that I just wanted to redeem myself with these cookies. The other day I got onto David for not trying "hard enough" to read when I realized that he did not have his precious bifocals on. I got frustrated with Hope for being whiny when I realized the little angel did not feel good and just wanted some Momma loving.
I think as Mommies we keep tallies of when we fall short. We forget all the great things we have done, but we can certainly rattle off all of our shortcomings. We are hard on each other and harder on ourselves. So like yesterday there are times that we just want to nail it to remind ourselves that we are rocking motherhood.
Blessedly both boys have goodies wrapped and ready for tomorrow. Thankfully because of God I can remember that I am a mother only by his grace. I do not need to seek perfection in my mothering skills or even in my baking skills because I am not perfect. I lose my temper, I roll my eyes at my husband, and I even let loose a curse word or two when my Hokies play bad, but thankfully because of my Jesus he is the only one that is perfect.
Jesus knows my heart and knows that I love these three babes He has blessed with me so much that it takes my breath away. I know that He loves my babes even more than I do. He knows that in my heart I love Him desperately but there are certainly worldly things that lure me from him every once in a while. I just pray that I remember that the only thing that I am judged for is my heart and thankfully not my baking skills. Jesus cares way more about me serving him than making cute cupcakes to take to a school party:)