I love fall so much, but not this year. Feeling the cooler weather, seeing the pumpkins, planning a trip to pick pumpkins has made the flashbacks worse. The closer we get to November, the worse I am getting. I will be honest and admit I am struggling. I cannot believe this time last year our world did not include the reality of childhood cancer. I just love our boy so much and I mourn over what he has had to endure and also the unknown of tomorrow is haunting me.
This Thursday we go visit the kidney doctor at UVA to check his levels and to chat with him. We will also have our monthly oncology visit while we are there. Then the next time we go back it will be time for another scan in November. Sigh. November 17th was the daignosis day last year and as that date gets closer the bigger the lump in my throat gets.
Amazingly, though, our ever-present and loving God has provided a WONDERFUL distraction on November 17th. Instead of sitting at home and remembering the worst day of our life, my sweet David and I will be getting our praise on with the one and only..... David Crowder Band!!!!!!! They do not tour anymore at all, but amazingly they are holding a concert less than two hours away with DAvid's favorite band on our one year anniversary of the nightmare. Unbelievable. Oh How He loves Us is all I can sing when I think about the fact that David's favorite band who no longer tours together anymore will be putting on a show so close to us on THE day.
David is thrilled that we have our tickets to this concert. I would love our Rock Star to get to meet David Crowder, but just to watch him perform is good enough:) The closer we get to November 17th the more time I am spending in prayer and in my bible. Those two things are the only things that give me peace when the "what ifs" try to overwhelm me. Childhood cancer is awful but we refuse to let it paralyze us with its sneaky ways.
I would covet your prayers for peace as the diagnosis day gets closer. We also covet your prayers that David's kidney likes the changes that we have made and that his Creatinine and BUN are lower this week. Of course we also covet prayers always that the monster called childhood cancer stays far far away from our sweet boy.
Psalm 121: 1-2
I lift my eyes up to the hiills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.