Monday, July 30, 2012

Keep on Singing

Blessedly I am blogging from home sweet home tonight!! We arrived home just after dinner time and we are so thankful to be under one roof together.  This being apart never gets easier. 

Today was brutal for several reasons.  I can now disclose this information because it is hopefully over, but we have all been very worried about dear Pops.  Last Wednesday he went for an MRI due to hoarseness and fatigue.  The technician called within the hour of leaving the MRI and said that he needed to contact his ooncolgoist ASAP.  My Dad has already had thyroid cancer removed and he currently has Chronic leukemia. 

You can imagine the agony of the last several days for us as we have all been very concerned about these nodules that were found during the MRI.  Due to my parents persistance they got an appointment today to see the doctor.  It worked out beautifully that I could stop in Christiansburg for that appointment and sit in with them. 

Amazingly, the oncologist was not too concerned about these nodules and feels that they are part of his leukemia and nothing to be too concerned about.  He did refer him to an ENT for further investigation about the hoarseness but he was not nearly as upset as we were.  Poor Pops, he has really been super worried about this since last Wednesday. 

As I have already shared, David's last chemo was not as celebratory as we had anticipated and frankly we both left there heavy-hearted that there are no guarantees with cancer.  We are beyond thankful that he survived the intense chemo and radiation but no one can guarantee that the cancer will not return. 

Then we heard the sad, sad news of our UVA cancer warrior, Trent who was David's age and who was also diagnosed last fall.  He suffered from medulloblastoma which is a brain cancer.  Poor pumpkin, he suffered so in his final days and our hearts ache for his community and family. 

Today David and I went into clinic for the PICC removal.  Wow-he was sedated for the placement of it, but the removal was done bedside and it was stressful for Mom and David.  It was a workout to hold him down physically and it was pretty gross to see that long IV tube come out of him.  He fought so hard that he immediately crashed when we got into the car to come home.  I cried a good thirty minutes to relieve stress and in anticipation of Pop's appointment. 

Then, this song that came out by Chris Tomlin came on the christian radio station and it pierced my heart.  I have loved this song for a couple of years, but it spoke to me in a different way today.

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can
sing when I lose my step
and I fall down again

I can sing cause you pick me up
Sing cause you're there
I can sing because
you hear me Lord
When I call to you in prayer

I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
and the saints around the throne

Those lines pierced my heart today.  God knew I was stressed because my baby was stressed and in pain today.  He knew that I was worried about David's bff, Pops, my heart was broken for Trent's family, and that we now must wait in faith about DAvid's cancer.  But he hears me and no matter what goes on in this earthly life because of Jesus we always have a reason to sing.  Praise you Lord!

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