One of the positive things that has come from the nightmare is my prayer life. As a christian I have certainly always prayed, but never with this desperation and emotion. My prayers before the nightmare were simple and probably very boring to listen to. Now because of the nightmare I am so much more emotional because me and God are pretty tight these days. He has heard me wail out of despair, praise him loudly when the first scan showed those lesions were gone, my chanting "heal him please" over and over during those first awful days at UVA when no other words could come out, and now as I ferverently pray for our children.
Tonight I decided to write out my prayers for my children.
Dear Lord, Thank you for our three babies. Thank you for making me a Mommy and help us to train these children up to love and serve you.
I pray for my sweet Kyle. Lord you have blessed him with lots of gifts and I pray that he will use those gifts to serve you. It takes my breath away how big he is getting each and everyday. I pray he will be a Godly man who one day is not too prideful to get on his knees to pray to you. Help him deal with this nightmare and turn it into a postive in his life. He is such a kind and sensitive soul, Lord that I pray that you will use that sensitivity and use him to minister to people. The world can have such a tight reign, but I pray you will give him the maturity to seek You and that you will continue to bless him with Godly friends. Minister to him Lord when I am not here as I know you love him even more then I do.
I pray for my sweet David. Heal his sweet body from the cancer. Continue to give him strength to fight through these tough and brutal treatments. Thank you for his sweet soul that continues to sing praises to you. He is such an inspiration to me. Use his extra chromosome and this nightmare to bring glory to you. Thank you for all the teachers, therapists, doctors, nurses, and friends that you put in his life. Thank you for David-he is a constant reminder to us that you are never wrong and that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Be with us all as we endure the next 21 weeks of treatment.
I pray for my sweet girl. Thank you for the gift of the unexpected blessing in her. I pray that she will not remember the details of the nightmare, but that she will know how loved she is not only by you but by all the family and friends in our life. I pray that you will use her strong will for your glory. May she seek your virtues and bless her with some sweet Godly girl friends.May she learn early that you are enthralled with her beauty and she is a princess of the Most High God. Thank you for her sweet giggle and her voice that makes us smile through this nightmare.
Praise you Jesus for all that you are!
Ahhh, I feel so much better. Turning to God makes even a weepy hard day much better. For some reason the last few days have been hard for me. I am not sure why but when the going gets tough I have learned recently is when it is time to up the prayer life. Tonight I went to sign the boys up for Little League and I was such a mess that my friend Tonya had to do the paperwork for me. I did sign sweet Dave up for a Tball team, so he can "play" when he is home and able:) I was so embarrassed that I cried there tonight when everyone was being so sweet, but I just pictured little Dave wearing a Tball uniform and got choked up.
I will close this post with a funny Kyle story. Kyle is so funny these days, and tonight on the way to baseball signups, we were talking about how God knows how many hairs are on our head, and Kyle asked how many were on David's head right now. We were being silly and guessing, and then Kyle said "mom we should have taken David to school on the 100th day because his hair would have been a great 100 day project because I bet that is how many hairs are left. " Good night!