I hate cancer, I really do. It attacks when you least expect it and alters your life forever. It attempts to steal your joy and your peace, and attempts to suffocate you with dread and worry. I wish we never would have heard the words stage four cancer, but unfortunately we did and we are in the midst of some really intensive chemo.
This Saturday will be the four month "anniversary" of cancer entering our world. I am amazed at how far the Rock Star has come in the last four months and I could weep with pride when I think about how much David has endured and not only is he active and mostly in school, but he continues to sing praises to God. He loves Chris Tomlin and David Crowder Band and he always has a song on his lips. He and Hope will break out into full-blown, hand-lifted praise at any moment of the day. We have no idea what DAvid understands about this ordeal but we tell him everyday how proud we are of him and how much we love him.
I wish cancer never would have entered our lives, but because of it, this is how we are all different:
We get it very clearly now that we have no control and that we are truly in the hands of our Sovereign Father. I am a control freak about my children and I now fully understand that our God loves them even more than I do and that His plan is perfect. His plan is not always easy or painless, but nonetheless it is perfect.
We have seen God walk us faithfully through the last four months. I sometimes stop and think about what we endured as a family those first few days and I can only say that the Lord was carrying Mike and I both because it was that awful. We will never doubt God's plan for us because we have witnessed first-hand that He is not going to take you somewhere where He is not going to meet you. We have seen it and lived it and we will forever praise Him.
We have been on the receiving end of some amazing kindness and generosity. Receiving all the tangible and intangible displays of affection have not only blown us away, but have taught us that we must give back. This life is not about taking and taking and taking, but about giving and blessing others. When you have been the blessee and been encouraged by others, you realize that we must love others and give back because it truly makes a difference. David's fan club made up of friends, family, and blog readers have truly made this nightmare journey tolerable. We continue to feel the love for our Rock Star and we know how many of you all are rooting for him and praying for us.
All five of us are more focused on our walk with the Lord. We have always been Christians, but we get it now that He is everything. Mike and I understand our role to train up our children to love the Lord and our children get it that God is the sixth person in our family. Before cancer our lives were so comfortable that we did not have to cling to him like we are now. Now we are so desperate and scared that He is the only one that can give us peace and comfort.
We value family and friendships. Our kids are not perfect and they can drive us crazy, but we are choosing to love every moment of our parenting. When you see your child in the hospital in pain it changes your parenting perspective. We are so appreciative of moments that in the past we would have taken for granted. Children are truly a blessing from the Lord instead of something to endure.
So yes, cancer sucks. There I said it. But, I am so grateful that God took the nightmare of cancer and taught us all some pretty amazing life lessons. I am so thankful that our God can make beauty from ashes:)