This Momma is ready for bed. Blessedly and thankfully we will all get to sleep under one roof at HOME tonight! We arrived home around dinner time and we have enjoyed a lovely evening at the ballpark watching Kyle's All Star team practice.
The day started rough. Really rough. Typically David's labs are drawn at 4 a.m. so when the doctors are rounding around 9ish then the labs are back and in the computer already for them to discuss with us. Because of a goof in the system David's labs were not drawn until 9 a.m. and we HAD to wait for them to return before leaving. Sigh.
Then when I was changing David's shirt to put his clothes on for the day I thought his port looked weird-like it was hanging out a little. I am responsible for giving his antibiotics via his port this weekend so it had to be perfectly in place. I called in one of our favorite nurses, Katy and she agreed that it looked weird. She tried to physically push it back it and that only made it come totally out.
She had not put Heparin in it before de-accessing, so it HAD to be re-accessed ASAP to put Heparin in it to avoid it clogging. Another sigh. I will spare you the gory details but basically me and three other nurses held him down while Jesus guided Katy's hands to put it back in. I had to witness my angel screaming at me to stop holding him down and that it was hurting bad. He was pleading with us to stop.
I will admit that I came unglued. When my holding down services were not needed any longer and the port was in, I threw off my surgical mask (that made it worse that he was being held down by four masked people) and ran down the hall. I found a private shower stall in the hall and heaved and sobbed. I cried out to God screaming at him "enough" and begged for mercy that this whole nightmare be done. I sobbed and heaved so hard that I thought I was going to throw up.
I finally gathered myself prayed again and emerged from my shower stall. I went and hugged my David who was already playing Ipad with a volunteer. I thanked Katy and we together thanked God that he had guided her hands. Putting a port in is not easy on a strong, seven year old who is fighting with all the strength he can muster. We both acknowledged that God was with us.
Then we signed the discharge papers and finally made the trek out to the SUV. The really nice man that helps you discharge was not busy and helped me all the way to my car. We had to ride a floor up on the parking garage and I did notice that there was a lady in the elevator with us. I remember nodding my head at her in a greeting when we got on, but Iwas too busy chatting with the discharge gentleman.
I noticed as we walked towards the car that the lady was walking with us. She stopped me as I was unloading David and she remarked to me that David was beautiful. I agreed with her and added that he was super brave too:) I did not launch into our morning because I was anxious to hit the road.
She then looked me square in the face and asked me if I knew Jesus. I replied that we were christians and that I did know and love Jesus. She then said that she felt Jesus' presence so strongly around me and David and that she wanted me to know that Jesus was with us and that the victory would be ours. She placed her hands on my shoulder and then one of David's and said a simple prayer and then turned around and walked away.
The world stopped. Just an hour prior to this encounter I was on a nasty bathroom floor pleading with Jesus for his mercy and intervention because this Momma was tired of seeing her baby in pain. Even though I am worn out from the drama of the last week, I am celebrating that my Jesus spoke to me today. We have known all along that he has been with us, but today he sent a messenger to remind me that he was and will be with us.
David and I hopped in the car and the song Forever Reign by One Sonic Society was playing in the CD player, and those words were so personal to me today. I felt renewed and uplifted by the encouraging words from that lady and David and I both sang our guts out. (If you do not know that song, look it up it is so awesome!)
So even though it was one of the worst days of pain and suffering for our David, it was amazing and awe-inspiring for me. Of course I called Mike right away to tell him about our encounter and he too was speechless. I must have been too distraught to feel the presence of God in that shower stall, so he had to use more obvious means to remind me that despite our pain and despair he will never leave us.
So our day has been awesome, but painful for our Rock Star. We are all settled in tonight under one roof. David is anxious to see Ashley who is coming tomorrow to hang with him while we cheer on Kyle and his All Star team at their first game tomorrow:)
The words Be Still and Know that I am God will forever be more personal to me as I witnessed today a very tangible and public reminder that God is indeed with us always. Happy Weekend!