I am so ready for this long and emotional day to be over. I am ready to snuggle with my sweet Rock Star here at camp Doubletree and read my new David Crowder Band book (thank you Pattons!)
Today was long, emotional, and very stressful. As a Momma my nestng instinct kicked into high gear and I put all this pressure on myself to get everything in this house done. Granted my house is spotless, but I am not clear why I put so much pressure on myself. I even washed every sheet in the house and organized my closet???
Then I put all this pressure on myself to leave my classrooms in excellent condition with a ton of lesson plans are prepped and ready. It was so hard to leave my preschool kiddos today knowing that it will be a while before I am back.
Poor Mike called me mid-afternoon and I was so strung out and stressed that I bit his poor head off. This Momma took on way too much today and got my eyes off of Jesus. I got so caught up in details and "must dos" that I took my eyes off of the only One who can give me comfort, peace, and grace. Cleaning my closet or washing all my sheets certainly did not give me the peace that passes all understanding.
Around 3:00 today as I was getting ready to go pick up Kyle the school nurse called me. She said that Kyle was "sick" and had a stomache ache. Mother intuition told me that he was fine but that the stress and anxiety of our family being split apart one more time, got to my buddy. When I pulled away with just David I was bawling, Kyle was crying because he was "sick", and Hope was bawling.
Needless to say I cried halfway to Radford on my way to pick up Pops. I certainly have not felt peace today. I have felt self-pity, fear, stress, and anxiety because I took it all on. For some bizarre reason today I got caught up in the "must dos" and "what ifs" and forgot to turn it over to the Lord.
He has given us so much peace and grace through the entire Nightmare and today I put the weight of the world on my shoulders and lost it. Today was a terrible day and I was just so emotional and sad.
Then on the way to Cville, David chose to ride in Pop's jeep instead of my SUV, and so I had time alone with my Lord. I prayed and I sang. That sweet, quiet worship time was exactly what I needed to give it ALL back to Him and allow Him to carry the burden. This is so huge and so scary that we cannot carry it alone. We must turn it over to our Lord and cling to Him and each other so that we can survive.
Cast all your care upon him; for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
He did not say cast all your cares on me Laura except for your "to do" lists or your "what ifs." He has proven to be so faithful and to us during the nightmare and I am so thankful that tonight I can place all my fears, concerns, anxieties, and stress at the altar of the One who cares for me.
Thank you Jesus that you care for us. Thank you Jesus that you know how broken my heart is. Calm my Kyle's anxiety and help his belly to feel better. Settle Hope's nerves and let her have fun with Mimi and GG. Precious Lord please grant Mike your peace as he is trying to juggle it all and carry our family spiritually, emotionally, and fiscally. We commit this nightmare to you Lord for your glory. In Jesus name, amen.