It all caught up with me last night as I snuggled my sweet two-year old little princess in her bed. It hit me that we as a family will have to be separated again for a length of time. It hit me hard that my baby has a fight on his hands because the cancer is more aggressive than we thought as evident by the positive LOH, and that his long-term survival has tipped in the wrong direction. I laid there and replayed in my mind that HORRIBLE 15 minutes where we held down our Rock Star to adminsiter that Pantanamine via nebulizer and he begged us to stop. My tears flowed last night.
Then God washed His peace over me-I felt it. He reminded me of the oncologis's BIG smile as she walked in our clinic room to share that despite medical reasoning David's big lesions are gone in just six weeks. She too shares our faith and we all had a moment where we gave the right person the glory. I could bawl thinking about it. I bet God gets a big kick out of doctors scratching their heads-don't you?! Our God is so mighty and able.
Then I remembered that CT scan that we were dreading. We had to wait for over an hour for the scan while we both had heavy hearts that it was going to be disastrous and David was begging for a drink. (He was not allowed to eat or drink prior to the scan in case they had to sedate him). It was probably the longest hour of our lives waiting but having that sweet little face begging for something to drink.
We then entered that room and the Lord put the most amazing professionals in there to help us. They were patient, we were calm, and we felt the Lord's hand at work. Within ten minutes perfect images were obtained and David was not stressed at all. We left there floating on cloud nine.
Then I remembered that amazing nurse who literally held me as I sobbed yesterday. The nebulizer treatment pushed this Momma to her brink and the drama of it all got me and I left the room sobbing. (The kind of cry that you can't make stop or be quiet no matter how hard you try). This sweet tiny little nurse directed me into the triage room and rubbed my back for a while and just told me to "let it out" and boy did I. I am crying now thinking about her kindness and how it ministered to me. She told me what good and strong parents we were and and that soothed my soul. She was sent by God at that moment to help me.
Then I remember my sweet David who is obsessed with his Ipad. We chose to stick around and speak in person with the oncologist instead of heading on home and talkiing on the phone. We went down into the cafeteria to get some lunch while we waited. David decided to put on a concert and turned the Ipad up on high and put on Our God and belted it out right there in the cafeteria. I really should have made him turn it down, but if my baby wanted to sing praises after the stressful morning he had had, then go for it. Chris Tomlin put on a concert thanks to David in that busy cafteria yesterday:) We just smiled.
I am also remembering that several people sent us Joshua 1:9 this week. Lots of our friends' children are participating in Upward basketball and the devotion this week was on that verse. It was so fitting to our situation and we were so blessed by the number of people that sent it to us:) That is a very popular verse in Smyth County this week! I love it!
So once again all we have is our faith. We know the next two weeks of intense radiation and chemo are going to be so hard on the Rock Star but we must get our biggest stones in the sling shot to fight the Goliath. We covet your prayers and thank you in advance for praying us through this next battle with Goliath. We are heading to Johnson City today to watch Kyle play in a basketball tournament today. I have missed all his games this season which has killed me, so today this Momma is going to be a cheerleader for my oldest. David is excited to go and Hope is excited to play with all the other little girl siblings on our team. Much love from Camp Robinson today:_)